- Friendship is something beautiful. It is a bond in which two people support each other, as friends; they help each other grow and laugh at each other! Every person needs a friend, a well-wisher. Not just in childhood but also in every age of their life. It is hard to survive without a true and honest friend.
However, what most people fail to realize is that friendship also means to correct your friend when he or she is wrong. Friendship also means to stop your friend from doing something bad and to guide one another to make each other better. Friendship is not simply about doing everything your friend pumps you to do. But it means to take a minute and test your friendship.
Categories of Friends
You can know what category your friend belongs to based on the following:
- The keeper (1) – A friendship based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
- The keeper (2) – A friendship based on helping and being there for each other.
- The keeper (3) – A friendship based on mutual uplifting of the other’s soul.
- The deal breaker (1) – A friendship based on one-sided respect, trust, and understanding and lack of appreciation from the other side.
- The deal breaker (2) – A friendship based on disregarding one’s feelings and draining you of your positive energy with their constant complaints.
- The deal breaker (3) – A friendship based on calling you when they only need something, also known as the one side benefit friendship.
It may seem as if the deal breakers are not that bad. In some cases, they’re not, that is, if you identify the problem and the other shows a positive change. However, if someone does not see a problem in their behavior and are continuing their wrong ways, there is no need to continue.
At times, you do not realize how toxic your friendship with someone is. Always assess how you feel about a person when you meet them, are you happy? Are you nervous? Are you angry? Do you want to get away from them as soon as possible? What about your words; can you communicate clearly and confidently without being afraid of their reaction? Do you have to hold back your opinions because you’re afraid they won’t be your friend anymore? Most of the time, your gut would answer these simple questions and you will know what you have to do.
However, at times it is hard to make the right decision, it is hard to just step up and say NO, I do not allow you to control me, NO; I do not tolerate this behavior. Once you do it, you will realize that you had the power all along. It may take you days, weeks, or months to do it. Of course, you will never be fully ready, it will take everything in you to force yourself to do it, and one day, you will feel proud of yourself for taking the correct decision.
Friendship Changes, Time Changes
Today, you may feel as if all your friends are amazing, they’re great, you may feel like they will be there with you forever because that’s what they say so, but time is cruel my virtual friend. Time changes, so do people. It is okay to lose friends and let go (at times). Here’s what you need to do:
1. Make Friends with Yourself.
This may strike you as crazy but it’s not. Throughout your life, you will be the only one you will spend most of your time. It is important to make friends with your hidden demons. Your thoughts can be your worst enemies or your greatest friends. You have to learn to train them. It is an art, which takes a lot of mental power to implement, but once you, learn it, your life will become easier.
Your mind tends to overthink t most embarrassing moments, your worst fears, your weakest days, the trick is to de-track it, so every time you catch yourself thinking a bad thought, shake your head quickly and imagine memories scattered here and there like papers and then choose a good one.
Try this repeatedly, until there is no memory of the previous bad thought in your mind. When you choose consciously to think good things, you will feel lighter, you will think useful thoughts and ideas, your mood will be better. After mastering this talent, you will like being alone and will definitely enjoy it. You will prefer staying at home, in your own peaceful company then going out and interacting with others. Then you will realize how much others’ negative energy you used to absorb.
2. Reality Check
Sit down, take a paper and write down everything about that person, about that friend, how was he? What happened? Whose fault was it? What is next? If you have no answer to one of these questions, then do not drive yourself crazy by over thinking the answer. Most importantly, do not pity yourself by asking: Why me?
Well, why not you?
You’re a strong, intelligent, and caring person. If something bad happens to you, God is testing you. He’s making you patient, stronger, He’s teaching you to depend only and only on Him. So talk to Him, pray to Him, tell Him how you feel, cry in front of Him, and in the morning, be the same strong person who cannot be broken!
This is life, accept that people are going to come and go, the sooner you accept this your life will become simpler, you will appreciate each moment because you’ll know that this too shall pass. It will not come back. Do not for a second think that you cannot survive without that “one person”, “that friend” or whoever because well, you were living happily before they came and you can surely live happily again after they’re gone.
Remind yourself that your life has no ties to any other person. It does not depend on those who leave. It is yours, only yours; so either you can live your life as a victim or you can stand up and be your own hero, the choice is yours.
I read it once long ago and it made sense to me: “The path of resentment is easier to travel than the road to forgiveness.”
We channel all our negative energy, every downfall, every bitterness to that one event, one person, what he or she is doing, etc. We hold on to this imaginary ball of fire and refuse to let it go, without realizing that the fire’s heat is burning our own skin.
Forgiveness; it is never for the other person – at least not always. It may seem to you that you’re doing them a favor, or you can control them by not forgiving them but it’s not true. Forgiveness is for you.
You see, you do not let go of what they did, or what happened, and this hinders your growth. In order to move on, to understand that, bad things happen, to get ready for a new chapter, you must forgive. It would not be easy of course; your heart and mind will object to giving up the ball of fire. We attach memories to the pain, to the resentment, and the bitterness. It will take you a long time, to finally, come to peace with what happened and to forgive the person ultimately.
A Long Journey
The journey will be a long one; it won’t be an easy one. You may have to travel it alone, or maybe talk with a professional or friends who can help. Once it’s all over, you will be happy to know that the person you have become is better than your old self is. The old you and life today or in the future will not seem so bad then!
Click here to read our previous post “Are You Depressed or Just Sad?” in case you missed it. To read more about amazing lifestyle tips, keep visiting us on www.lifestyleglitz.com. We are all you need for a great and happy lifestyle!